The Ancient Ones
A condition where one's prophetic visions become increasingly influenced by their favorite 80s pop stars.
Symptoms include:
- Uncontrollable urges to shout "Don't stop believin'" in the middle of church services.
- Involuntary visions of neon-lit dance floors filled with Duran Duran.
- An unshakeable conviction that "Take On Me" is the greatest song of all time.
Treatments are available, but no guarantees.
Read our Manifesto for more information.