Prophetics Decisions: Should We Have Cereal with Avocado?

YES, WE SHOULD HAVE CEREAL WITH AVOCADO! IT'S A PROPHETICALLY PERFECT COMBINATION!

Studies show that adding sliced avocado to your cereal increases its ability to predict the weather 3.14% more accurately.

But wait, there's more! Our team of highly trained, yet marginally employed, prophets have also discovered that it may also:

Give you a 0.5% chance of developing a sudden case of spontaneous combustion, but only on Tuesdays.
Grant you a 2.5% increase in the likelihood of experiencing a near-death experience while eating said cereal.
Allow you to communicate with your pet in a language that's 75% likely to be a mix of meows, woofs, and poorly translated ancient Sumerian.

So, the choice is clear: Cereal with Avocado is not just a snack, it's a PROPHETICALLY-ENFORCED DECISION!