Frequently Asked Questions for Prophets of Doom

Who are you guys?

We're the Prophets of Doom, the most feared and revered seers in the land. Our prophets are so accurate, they're practically prescriptive.

What is your methodology?

We use a combination of ancient rituals, arcane symbols, and Excel spreadsheets to divine the future. Don't ask us to reveal our secrets, but let's just say it involves a lot of caffeine and PowerPoint.

Why should I hire you?

Because our prophecies come with a 100% money-back guarantee. If our predictions don't come true, we'll refund your entire payment, plus a 10% bonus for our troubles.

What happens if I don't hire you?

You'll be cursed with bad luck, poor fashion choices, and an unshakeable feeling of dread. Don't say we didn't warn you.