Fortune Cookie of Doom
Warning: contents may be hazardous to your sanity.
The Mystic's Cookie of Choice
A message from the Oracle of the Apocalypse:
"You will never be able to afford the artisanal, small-batch, hand-crafted existential dread that comes with being a visionary. But hey, at least you'll have a good story to tell."
Interpret the Ominous Omen
For the truly delusional, an Advanced Analysis