2024 Summer of Suffering: A Prophet's Outlook

According to our team of expert prognosticators, the summer of 2024 promises to be a real doozy. Expect:

• Record-breaking temperatures: 120°F and rising.
• Unrelenting humidity: 100% chance of sweat.
• A heat index that'll make you question your life choices.
• Power outages: because who needs electricity, anyway?

But wait, it gets worse. Much worse. Like, much worse.

We've also got our eyes on a few other trends:

• The rise of the 'influencer' as the new, socially acceptable definition of 'expert'.
• The resurgence of 'I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right' as a valid form of discourse.
• The increasing popularity of 'self-care' as a euphemism for 'I'm still stuck in bed with Netflix'.
• The return of the 'thought leader' as a title for anyone who still lives with their parents.

Stay tuned for more updates on these and other thrilling developments.