Welcome to the pantry of our beloved Prophets, where the coffee flows like the tears of the damned and the wisdom is always served with a side of existential dread.
We're not just any ordinary pantries, no, no, no. We're the chosen ones, the ones who've seen the end of the world and still managed to find a way to make it fashionable.
As you browse through our shelves, you'll find an array of items, each one a testament to our Prophets' impeccable taste in the face of impending doom.
From the finest imported apocalyptic survival kits to the most exclusive line of prophesied apocalypse-themed mugs, we've got it all.
So, take a step into our pantry, and let the weight of the world's impending doom be lifted off your shoulders, if only for a little while.
Or, you know, don't. We're not really sure what the point is anymore.
Anyway, you're probably wondering how you got here. Well, it's because:
You probably took a wrong turn in the desert of despair or maybe it was just a wrong click on your browser's address bar. Either way, you're here now, and that's all that matters.Want to see more of our Prophets' Private Johns' Pantry? Click the links below:
Eternal Recession Surplus Our Prophets' Wardrobe Prophets of the Apocalypse Memorial Society