Welcome, seekers of truth and seekers of snacks! You've stumbled upon Our Prophets Private Johns Podcast, where the world's greatest seers and prognosticators gather to share their insights on the impending doom that is the apocalypse. Tune in for Economic Omens, where our experts predict the exact date and time the economy will finally succumb to its own absurdity. Or, for a dose of intergalactic dread, listen to Planetary Preditcations, where we explore the very real possibility that the universe itself will soon be consumed by a great and terrible darkness. Subscribe for more of this and other apocalyptic content, because who knows, it might be our last chance to be right.