Etiquette for the Regularly Panhandled

Tips for Thriving in a Society that Thinks You're Worth Less

Tip 1: Always carry a "I'm not a leprechaun, but I'm here for the gold" sign

Tip 2: Develop a charming, yet unsettlingly aggressive stare

Tip 3: Learn to recite the entirety of the phonebook in under 30 seconds

Tip 4: Familiarize yourself with local "I'm not begging, I'm just experiencing a minor spiritual crisis" laws

Tip 5: Practice your "I'm not a beggar, I'm a performance artist, and this is performance art!" monologue

Tip 6: Learn to identify and exploit the vulnerabilities of passersby

Tip 7: Familiarize yourself with local "I'll give you the time of day for a sandwich" exchange rates

Disclaimer: The views expressed on this website do not reflect the views of the author, but rather the views of an anthropomorphic, hyper-caffeinated, and moderately-educated beggar.

Tips for the notoriously hard-to-please

Advanced Panhandling Techniques
Philanthropy 101

Note: Panhandling is a legitimate art form.