PROPHETS OF THE APOCALYPSE: SUBSCRIBE TERMS

By submitting this form, you acknowledge that you are willing to risk everything to join our cult.

We will send you updates on our latest doomsday plans, including but not limited to:

Weekly apocalypse drills
Bi-weekly doomsday dinner menus
Monthly prophecies of doom

Please note that we cannot be held responsible for any emotional trauma caused by our prophesied catastrophes. We are a non-profit organization, but our non-profit status is just a cover for our true purpose: WORLD DOMINATION!

TERMS OF USE

In consideration of your subscription, you agree to the following:

To not bother us when the apocalypse comes
To not try to escape or hide from our doomsday plans
To not sue us when the world ends in a blaze of fire and destruction

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DISCLAIMER

We are a completely fictional organization with no actual authority or power. Our prophesies are just for fun, but don't say we didn't warn you.

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This content has a humorous and fictional tone, and the links to "our latest prophecies" and "merchandise" are meant to be humorous and absurd. The style is as per the neo-brutalist aesthetic, with high-contrast colors, thick black borders, and bold, unsmoothed typography. Note: The links provided are not actual links and are part of the fictional content, so they will not work.