Monday Morning Mayhem

Welcome, Prophets! It's Monday, and you know what that means...

...the Apocalypse is still coming for you, but you get to experience the thrill of another Monday morning!

Here's a special deal for all you Prophets out there:

Prophet-ential Guidance (includes complimentary doomsday prepping)
Apocalypse Insurance (covers all your post-apocalyptic needs, including but not limited to: zombie outbreaks and nuclear winter)
Prophetic Self-Improvement Seminars (learn how to make the most of your impending doom)

Don't wait! Click the link below to claim your special deal:

Or, if you're feeling extra adventurous: