Our Methodology: Step 4 - "The Artisanal Woodworking of the Apocalypse"

Wherein we craft the most exquisite, hand-finished, post-apocalyptic furniture

As we approach the precipice of our collective doom, it's time to think about the finer things in life. And what's finer than a beautifully crafted wooden rocking chair, lovingly hand-planed and sanded by yours truly, Prophet Elijah of the Apocalypse?

Step 4 of our methodology is dedicated to the art of creating furniture that will last longer than the world itself. We take the finest, most resilient woods and craft each piece with precision, care, and a hint of madness.

Join us as we explore the intersection of art and apocalypse, where the lines between functionality and madness are blurred beyond recognition.

• Minimalist Design - Where form follows function, but function follows the end of the world.
• Step 5: The Apocalypse-Ready Finish - Where we take the finishing touches to the next level... of desolation.
• The Apocalyptic Look - Because who needs subtlety when the world is ending?

			function apocalyptic_rocking_chair(wood_type, apocalypse_level) {
				var chair = new Object();
				chair.welds = 0;
				chair.sturdy_hinges = 0;
				chair.doomsday_vibes = 10 + Math.random() * 10;
				return chair;
			}
		

A little code snippet to give you an idea of how we think about the apocalypse.