A masterpiece of woodworking and existential dread, this ark is built to withstand the coming flood of despair. Or not.
Hand-crafted by our most skilled prophet
Our lead prophet, Bob, spent 17 years building this ark, and 3 months crying about it.
Features
- Waterproof (mostly)
- Fireproof (no)
- Has a nice smell of varnish
Technical Specs
- Dimensions: 10' x 5' x 3'
- Weight: 500 pounds of pure, unadulterated, existential dread
- Materials: Oak, fear, and regret
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