The Apocalypse's Finest Woodworking Project: "The Toaster of the Ancients"

Begun by Prophet Bob, Master of the Artisanal Toaster

Behold! Project 1: "The Apocalypse's Finest Wooden Toaster" is our magnum opus, a behemoth of artisanal craftsmanship that will toast your bread to perfection in the post-apocalyptic wasteland. Built with the finest reclaimed materials and an eye for the absurd, this toaster is a work of art.

Features:

• Four-pronged toaster head, because who needs less?
• Thick, rugged construction to withstand the harshest of nuclear winters
• Adjustable toasting levels, from "lightly charred" to "incandescent inferno"