Rituals of the Ascetic Prophet of Caffeine

As an ascetic prophet of caffeine, I have dedicated my life to the pursuit of the ultimate buzz. My rituals are not for the faint of heart.

Here are the sacred practices that fuel my prophetic visions:

• Meditation Through Sugar Rush
• Caffeine Fasting for Spiritual Growth
• Sacred Coffee Brewing

Follow the rituals, and you too can unlock the secrets of the universe!