Fortunes of Famine: Office Hours with Prophet Zorvath

Get your daily dose of existential dread and impending doom with Prophet Zorvath, the patron saint of bad things happening.

Today's Fortune

Today, you shall encounter a 30% chance of spontaneous combustion while walking down the stairs.

A 20% chance of running out of ramen for lunch. A 50% chance of being forced to listen to elevator music while stuck in traffic.

And a 100% chance of questioning the meaning of life.

Would you like to hear another fortune? Click here! or Subscribe to our daily fortunes!