Section 6: The Ultimate Report
Our team of expert Prophets have been analyzing the impending doom for centuries. We've got the inside scoop, the crystal ball, and the fainting couch.
Here's the latest:
- 90% chance of total global annihilation by 2045
- Increasing probability of spontaneous combustion due to climate change
- Uncontrollable outbreaks of disco music in major cities worldwide
Stay tuned for further updates, or don't, we're all probably toast anyway.