Article 1: Thou shalt not wear a tie that's not at least 3 inches wide. Any narrower and thou art cast out.
Article 2: Thou shalt not speak of the prophecy unless spoken to. Any such utterance shall be met with a 3-day ban from the water cooler.
Article 3: Thou shalt not eat at thy desk. Any such transgression shall be punished by a 1-hour session with the dreaded "Bread of Shame" in the break room.
Article 4: Thou shalt not look at the intern with a gaze that's not pure and true. Any such leering shall be met with a 2-week ban from the supply closet.
Article 5: Thou shalt not be late to the meeting of the gods. Any tardiness shall be punished by a 1-day suspension without pay.
For the sake of all that is holy, thou shalt read and understand these articles.