Our Story: Our Findings
As the world burned, we, the Prophets of the Apocalypse, stood firm, our beards ablaze with the fires of revelation. Our findings, though often shrouded in mystery, were always illuminated with the light of certainty.
We have discovered that the key to ultimate knowledge lies not in the depths of the ocean or the farthest reaches of the galaxy, but in the humblest of office supply closets.
Our research has taken us down many paths, but the most significant breakthrough came when we found the ancient artifact hidden behind the copier machine in the supply closet.
Through our tireless efforts, we have unlocked the secrets of the universe, and our findings are available for your viewing pleasure, but don't get too excited, we're not hiring.
Some of our notable findings include:
- The true meaning of 'Tupperware' is not a brand of plastic containers, but a ancient Sumerian word for 'the void of despair.'
- The secret to world peace lies in the perfect ratio of 3:1 of coffee to creamer.
- The answer to the ultimate question of life, the universe, and everything is actually 42.5, but only on Tuesdays.
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