According to management, the apocalypse is nigh. Like, actually nigh. Like, "we're all going to burn in a fire of biblical proportions" nigh. So, we've put together this handy handbook to help you navigate the impending doom.
Don't try to outrun the apocalypse. It's not going to end well. Just stay in the office and hope for the best. Or, you know, just go to the break room and drink all the coffee. That'll keep you going for a hot second.
According to management, the apocalypse is nigh. Like, actually nigh. Like, "we're all going to burn in a fire of biblical proportions" nigh. So, we've put together this handy handbook to help you navigate the impending doom.
Don't try to outrun the apocalypse. It's not going to end well. Just stay in the office and hope for the best. Or, you know, just go to the break room and drink all the coffee. That'll keep you going for a hot second.
For when things get really bad, you'll need to call:
Management reserves the right to change, modify, or completely ignore the contents of this handbook at any time. Because, you know, the apocalypse is coming and we're all just winging it.
This handbook is not meant to be taken seriously. Or, you know, it is, but only if you want it to be. Like, don't @ us.