Today's forecast: 100% chance of existential dread, 0% chance of hope.

We're a bunch of prophets, stuck in this office, trying to predict the end of the world. Again.

Zeke's Zany Prophecies

Our fearless leader, Zeke, has seen it all. Well, not all, but a lot. He's got some great tips for when the apocalypse comes.

• Don't wear nice clothes, they'll just get torn to shreds.
• Learn to identify poisonous plants, you'll need to know.
• Practice your zombie-fu, it's a real thing.