Welcome to the Office of the Apocalypse, where the end of the world is always just a Tuesday.
- The Rapture has been delayed again, and we're running a special sale on doomsday shelter rentals.
- The Four Horsemen are on a go-slow, and we're expecting significant delays in the delivery of brimstone and plagues.
- Our Apocalypse Insurance policy has been updated to cover only the most catastrophic of catastrophes, and not just your average Tuesday.
Stay tuned for further updates, or just give up and enjoy the free donuts in the break room.