To: All Mortals and Minions of the Coming Doom
From: The Prophets of the Apocalypse, Guardians of the Cosmic Balance
Due to unforeseen circumstances, the Apocalypse has been rescheduled to Wednesday, next week. Please make necessary adjustments to your doomsday preparations accordingly.
Failure to comply with this revised schedule will result in Final Warnings, which we cannot guarantee will be as gentle as the ones we've been sending out so far.
Remember, mortals: the fate of humanity hangs in the balance. Don't get caught napping when the end times come.