CHAOS TUNNEL REPORT

The year is 2016, and the UK is in a state of utter chaos. The government is in shambles, the economy is in free fall, and the weather is, well... actually, it's just really wet.

Key Statistics

Chaos Level: 11/10
Prophet's Confidence Level: -10/10
Probability of Apocalypse: 99.9%

Notable Events

• Theresa May becomes Prime Minister of the UK, and promptly starts a national conversation about the importance of tea.
• The UK's Brexit negotiations with Europe are a series of surreal, never-ending meetings about who's turn it is to talk first.
• The weather in the UK is so bad that it's starting to rain on the inside of people's eyelids while they're asleep.

Chaos Index

The Chaotic Index is a proprietary measure of the level of chaos in the system, based on factors such as government stability, economic performance, and availability of decent biscuits.

Current Index: 8.5/10

Recommendations

To survive the coming apocalypse, we recommend:

• Stock up on emergency supplies, including but not limited to: canned beans, bottled water, and a good book.
• Build a bunker in your backyard, or at the very least, a nice, cozy shed.
• Practice your best "I told you so" face in front of the mirror.