Our Meditation Techniques for the Coming Apocalypse:

As the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse gallop towards our doom, it's essential to remain calm and centered. Here are a few techniques to help you find inner peace in the face of impending global destruction:

• The Fire Pony Method - Visualize a majestic fire pony prancing across the wasteland, bringing warmth and light to the desolate landscape.
• The Sandstorm Simulation - Lie down in a pit of sand and imagine the apocalypse as a never-ending sandstorm, reminding you that everything is impermanent, even your crippling existential dread.
• The Dystopian Dance - Perform a ritual dance of despair and hopelessness, letting the rhythm of your footsteps echo through the ruins of civilization.
• The Post-Apocalyptic Pony Tail - Focus on the gentle sway of a post-apocalyptic pony tail, a symbol of hope and rebirth in a world gone mad.