Chapter 1: The Signs of the Times
As foretold by the great prophets, the end is near. Or at least, it's very close.
Sign 1: The Sky is Filled with the Smell of Sausages.
- When the air is filled with the savory scent of sizzling meats, you know you're close to the end.
- But don't worry, it's just the apocalypse's way of saying "I'm hungry".
Sign 2: The Earthquakes are Getting More Creative.
- The earthquakes are no longer just random, they're now accompanied by a 5-alarm solo of the Macarena.
- It's like the earth itself is trying to get your attention, but with better dance moves.
And that's all for now, folks. Keep checking back for more signs of the times, or just stay tuned to our sister site, Channeling the Chaos for more updates on the apocalypse's most pressing matters.