Buying our Stocks: A Prophetic Guide

When the apocalypse comes, you want to be ready. Not just ready to survive, but ready to thrive. And that means having a solid investment strategy in place.

Technique 1: The Chicken Little Strategy

Buy stocks in companies that sell chicken nuggets. It's a classic. The apocalypse will be a time of great upheaval, and people will be looking for comfort foods. Diversify your portfolio with a mix of nugget makers and suppliers.

Recommended stocks: Chicken Nugget Inc., Egg-cellent Investments.

Technique 2: The Survivalist Playbook

Focus on companies that make tools for post-apocalyptic survival. Think water purification systems, first aid kits, and bunker building materials. It's a crowded space, but someone's gotta do it.

Recommended stocks: Survivalist Tools, Bunker Builders Inc..