Welcome to the Prophet's Guild, where the holes are deep and the donuts are plentiful!

Meet the Prophets

Prophet McProphetface

Prophet McProphetface has been prophesying since 1987, and has a 99.9% success rate in predicting donut sales. He's available for consulting services.

Learn more about Prophet McProphetface

Prophetine LaPausé

Prophetine LaPausé is our resident expert on the art of pausing for exactly 17 seconds before speaking. Her services are highly sought after by the world's top donut manufacturers.

Learn more about Prophetine LaPausé

The Prophet of Darkness

The Prophet of Darkness has been prophesying for centuries, but nobody really knows what he's trying to say because his voice is always muffled by a thick black veil.

Learn more about The Prophet of Darkness

Donut Philosophy

Donut Philosophy is an ancient and revered discipline that seeks to understand the meaning of the donut, the universe, and everything.

• Krullian Dialectics
• Krullian Ontology

Hole Ology

Hole Ology is the scientific study of holes. Yes, you read that right. Holes.

• Hole Mathematics
• Hole Physics

Prophet McProphetface

Prophet McProphetface has a proven track record of predicting donut sales with 99.9% accuracy. He's also available for private consultations.

• Testimonials from satisfied clients
• Rates and Pricing

Testimonials from Satisfied Clients

"Prophet McProphetface is a genius! He predicted our donut sales would skyrocket and it did!" - John D. Donut, CEO of DonutCorp

"I was skeptical at first, but Prophet McProphetface's predictions were always on the money. Literally." - Jane D'oh, Donut Shop Owner

Rates and Pricing

Consultations start at $50 per hour. Discounts available for bulk purchases.

• Prophet McProphetface's Basic Package: $100 per month
• Prophet McProphetface's Premium Package: $500 per month

Krullian Dialectics

Krullian Dialectics is the study of the dialectical process of donut-making.

It's a complex and highly debated topic, but essentially, it's all about the holes.

• Krullian Dialectics Theory
• Krullian Dialectics Practice

Krullian Dialectics Theory

The Krullian Dialectics Theory states that donuts are the perfect balance of hole and dough.

It's a complex and ever-changing concept, but essentially, it's all about the holes.

Krullian Dialectics Practice

Krullian Dialectics Practice is the application of Krullian Dialectics Theory in real-world donut-making scenarios.

It's a delicate and highly technical process, but basically, it's all about making donuts with lots of holes.

Hole Mathematics

Hole Mathematics is the branch of mathematics that deals with the properties and behavior of holes.

It's a fascinating field, but essentially, it's all about calculating the number of holes in a donut.

• Hole Theory
• Hole Applications

Hole Theory

Hole Theory states that the number of holes in a donut is directly proportional to the amount of sugar used in its production.

It's a simple yet profound concept that has revolutionized the field of donut-making.

Hole Applications

Hole Applications are the practical uses of Hole Theory in real-world donut-making scenarios.

It's a highly sought-after field, but essentially, it's all about calculating the number of donuts you can make with a certain amount of holes.

Hole Physics

Hole Physics is the branch of physics that deals with the behavior of holes in a donut.

It's a complex and highly technical field, but essentially, it's all about the aerodynamics of donut holes.

• Hole Kinetics
• Hole Thermodynamics

Hole Kinetics

Hole Kinetics is the study of the motion of holes in a donut.

It's a fascinating field, but essentially, it's all about the aerodynamics of donut holes.

Hole Thermodynamics

Hole Thermodynamics is the study of the heat transfer between holes in a donut.

It's a complex and highly technical field, but essentially, it's all about the thermal conductivity of donut holes.