Join the Tap-Initiated Utopia

Welcome, fellow prophet of the tap! We're glad you asked to join us. As a chosen one, you're about to embark on a thrilling adventure of tap-water divination, mystic faucet mysticism, and the occasional leaky faucet repair.

As a member, you'll enjoy:

• Exclusive access to our Tap- Oracle, a mystical faucet that dispenses only the most profound tap-water wisdom.
• The ability to participate in our monthly Tap-rituals, where we collectively tap-dance, tap-sing, and tap-communicate with the universe.
• A complimentary set of tap-themed artisanal soap and a lifetime supply of tap-water flavored coffee