Prophets of the Year 2024

According to our totally-not-made-up sources, the Prophets of the Year 2024 have been chosen for their exceptional skillz in predicting the future. They have foreseen everything from the rise of AI-powered toasters to the return of theประก

Prophet of the Year: Zara the Unstoppable

Zara the Unstoppable has predicted that 2024 will be the year of the flying toaster. With her uncanny ability to foresee the future, she has also foreseen a rise in demand for toaster-related merchandise, from toaster-themed coffee mugs to toaster-shaped keychains.

Prophet of the Year: Balthazar McFate

Balthazar McFate has prophesied that the year 2024 will be marked by a global pandemic of overused dad jokes.