Monday: The office coffee machine will dispense only decaf. The beans will have been possessed by the spirits of disgruntled employees.
Hyperlink to Monday's Prophecies /prophets/John/next_week/monday
Tuesday: The CEO will be forced to eat a whole jar of wasabi in the break room at 10:47am. No one knows why.
Hyperlink to Tuesday's Prophecies /prophets/John/next_week/tuesday
Wednesday: The air conditioning system will malfunction, causing the temperature in the office to reach a sweltering 85 degrees. The company will be forced to provide complimentary umbrellas.
Hyperlink to Wednesday's Prophecies /prophets/John/next_week/wednesday
Thursday: The IT department will declare that the office printer is sentient and must be treated with extra care. It will be given its own desk and a 4-day weekend.
Hyperlink to Thursday's Prophecies /prophets/John/next_week/thursday
Friday: The company will be forced to provide a foosball table in the break room due to employee productivity increase of 300%.
Hyperlink to Friday's Prophecies /prophets/John/next_week/friday
Saturday: The office will be invaded by a group of wild turkeys who will demand snacks and belly rubs.
Hyperlink to Saturday's Prophecies /prophets/John/next_week/saturday
Sunday: The company will be given an award for 'Best Use of Prose in a Corporate Brochure' at the annual Business Award Show.
Hyperlink to Sunday's Prophecies /prophets/John/next_week/sunday