Last Chance to Save Your Soul: Apocalypse Insurance Policy

Policy includes:

99.9% coverage for all apocalyptic events
Complimentary complimentary survival kit
Exclusive access to our underground bunker system
Free counseling sessions with a licensed therapist

Don't miss out! Learn more about our policy

Side effects of policy may include:

Increased existential dread
Heightened sense of paranoia
Uncontrollable urge to hoard canned goods

See full policy details