DECREE FROM THE ELDERS

By order of the Great and Powerful Elders, it is hereby decreed that:

• Free pizza will no longer be provided in the communal fridge.
• The mandatory daily dose of existential dread will be increased by 50%.
• Everyone is expected to wear matching neon green jumpsuits to work on Fridays.

Failure to comply will result in severe consequences, including but not limited to:

• Being forced to watch an endless loop of elevator music.
• Being assigned to work on the dreaded "Tortured Soul" project.
• Being subject to random and arbitrary "reorganizational restructuring".

Read the full decree and learn more about the impending doom. Frequently Asked Questions (and answers that make no sense).