By the Power of the Prophets, We Command You:
1. Wear a suit of armor made of nachos.
2. Dance the Macarena in front of a crowd of 10 or more.
3. Eat a whole jar of mayonnaise in one sitting.
By the Power of the Prophets, We Command You:
Failure to comply will result in... (dramatic flourish)... Immediate and Total Desecration!
Or, if you'd rather not face the consequences, you may appeal the decision to the Council of the Unwise.