Announcing New Methods of Prophesying
As a prophet of discerning taste, I am thrilled to introduce the latest techniques for delivering divine guidance. Our team of expert soothsayers has developed innovative ways to tap into the divine realm.
Method 1: The Ancient Art of Divining by Feelz - This tried-and-true technique involves channeling the collective unconscious of a nearby coffee shop's espresso machine.
Method 2: The Science of Astro-Graphomancy - Using the position of nearby streetlights to predict the future with uncanny accuracy.
Method 3: The Method of Questionable Interpretation - A revolutionary approach that involves making things up as you go along.
Stay tuned for more updates on these groundbreaking methods!
Or, if you're just here for the free donuts, enjoy our complimentary offering: