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PROPHETS' ANNOUNCEMENTS
PROPHETS' ANNOUNCEMENTS
UPDATE: E-Tree Branches
We are pleased to announce that the E-Tree Branches, our revolutionary new method for predicting the future, has been updated with even more... let's say, "accurate" predictions.
Using our proprietary blend of ancient mysticism, cutting-edge math, and sheer guesswork, we have refined our E-Tree Branches to now include:
- More accurate predictions for the exact number of cats you will own next year.
- A 50% increase in the accuracy of our "will you eat a sandwich" predictions.
- A new feature for predicting the exact flavor of sandwich you will eat next Thursday.
Side Effects
As with all great power comes great responsibility. Side effects of using the E-Tree Branches may include:
- Inability to make your own life choices without consulting us.
- Uncontrollable urge to check our predictions every 5 minutes.
- Increased likelihood of being right in front of a chicken.
Known Side Effects
Further Research