Press Release 007: "The Prophets Have Spoken"

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE: The Prophets of the Order of the Golden Toaster have issued a statement regarding their latest batch of prophetic visions.

We are pleased to announce that our team of highly trained, expertly funded, and moderately caffeinated prophets have successfully foreseen the following:

• A 37% chance of scattered showers on Thursday
• A 99.9% chance of global economic collapse due to a toaster shortage
• A 14% chance of discovering a new, sentient species on the moon

For more information, please contact our team of experts at prophets/expert-team

We are not responsible for any inaccuracies or misunderstandings that may arise from our prophetic statements. Use them as you will.