Subpage 3: The Celestial Events That Will End the World (as We Know It)

According to our highly scientific and completely-not-made-up calculations, the following events are predicted to bring about the downfall of our planet:

• Galactic alignment of the planets, causing mass chaos and destruction.
• Rise of the robotic overlord, demanding an all-you-can-eat nacho bar in the server room.
• The return of the ancient Sock Goblins, seeking revenge on our ill-fated decision to do laundry.

Don't worry, it's all just part of our carefully planned and totally-not-at-all-panicked response protocol.
Read on to learn more about our expertly crafted exit strategies!