As we continue on our glorious path to enlightenment, we must confront the naysayers who dare question our divine right to guide the masses. To them, we say: "You're just jealous of our majestic beards."
Read Section 3: The Apocalyptic Prophecies of Doom to see the full list of reasons why our detractors are just haters with beards.
We predicted the end of the world 17 times, and each time, it was a beautiful sunset.
Learn more about our impressive track record of incorrectness and why our followers are always prepared for the impending doom that never arrives.
We may have been wrong 12 out of 15 times, but who needs math when you have faith?
Find out how we've successfully redefined the meaning of 'accuracy' and made the world a more confusing place, one prophecy at a time.
Our detractors may call us wrong, but we call them blind. After all, we have 20/20 vision.
Get it? Get it? Good. Now go ahead and question our authority some more.