Prophets and Aries: Telegrams from the Void

Get ready for messages from beyond the veil of the mundane! Our team of prophets has gathered the most cryptic, confusing, and occasionally relevant messages from the great beyond. Read on for:

Messages from the Cosmic Cabbies

• The End is Near, but the Coffee Shop is Open
• Your Ancestors Are Plotting Against You
• The Cheese Has Been Moved, but the Gouda Has Not

More Prophetic Proportions

• The Unseen Forces at Play
• The Unseen Forces at Play: Abridged Edition
• The Unseen Forces at Play: Ultra-Brutal Edition

Disclaimer

These messages are provided as-is, with no warranty or liability for the accuracy or relevance of the content. Use at your own risk. Or, you know, just for laughs.