Consultation with the Great Prophet of the Universe

By appointment only, we offer life coaching services to those seeking divine guidance.

Our prophet has spent eons studying the intricacies of human existence, allowing us to provide expert advice on:

Relationships (e.g., how not to get possessed by a jealous god)
Careers (e.g., becoming a professional snail trainer)
Personal growth (e.g., learning to appreciate the beauty of a well-placed mannequin)

Consultations take place from 9am to midnight, because we're not limited by mortal conventions.