Prophets Daily Bread and Cheese Fortunes

Today's Fortunes:

• Today, you will find the perfect slice of bread. It will be slightly crusty, slightly warm, and perfectly imperfect.
• Your love life will be filled with the thrill of mild disappointment and the comfort of stale pizza.
• You have a 50% chance of spilling soup on your shirt today. The other 50% chance you'll just pretend it's a stylish new design.
• Someone, somewhere, will eat your last cookie. It's just the way the universe works.