Q: What is the purpose of the Prophets?
A: To predict the future, obviously. But let's be real, it's all about the free snacks. Learn more about our snack policies
Q: How do I become a Prophet?
A: It's not rocket science, but it's not exactly easy either. First, find a nice suit, then a nice beard, and finally, find a nice crystal ball. Get ordained today!
Q: Can I ask the Prophets to predict my love life?
A: Only if you're willing to pay the premium "Love Prophet" package. Includes a complimentary candle and a 50% chance of accuracy. Get a reading
Q: Can I use the Prophets for business purposes?
A: Please don't. We're trying to keep the prophetic industry from becoming too commercialized. But if you insist, ask about our "Prophet-for-Hire" services. Learn about our rates
Q: Are the Prophets real?
A: Of course not! We're just a bunch of weirdos with too much time on our hands and a love for fancy suits. Read more about our dubious beginnings