Welcome to the most unpredictable destination in the land of absurdity! Our team of expert prophets will guide you to the edge of reality and back, but not necessarily in that order.
Choose a prophet from our esteemed list:
Zeke the Unreliable, Bernice the Blunderer, or Roberto the Enigmatic.
Or, if you're feeling particularly bold, try your luck with our fortune teller: Lucy the Unconventional.
Remember, our predictions are always 50% off, but not always guaranteed to be correct. Or even remotely accurate. Or, you know, maybe just made up on the spot.