You shall receive one fortune, but be warned: it may or may not be useful.
Fortune: You will find a lost sock in the washing machine.
Or maybe not.
Either way, it's a start, right?
Want more? Click here for another.
Or, if you're feeling adventurous, try our parody fortunes.
Or, if you're feeling really desperate, we have some actual advice.
(Note: Actual advice not guaranteed to be good or useful.)