Prophet of the Apocalypse: Helmet Requirements

Helmet Requirements for the End Times

As a Prophet of the Apocalypse, it's crucial to be prepared. A good helmet is not just a safety precaution, it's a matter of life and death. Literally.

Requirements:

• Must withstand 400 mph winds
• Resistant to hail the size of a small boulder
• Fireproof
• Must fit snugly on a head with 5 o'clock shadow

Don't forget, these requirements are subject to change as the apocalypse approaches. Better safe than sorry!