Prophecies of Doom

Delivered by Jennifer the Infallible

Here are the Prophecies of Doom, delivered fresh from the mind of Jennifer the Infallible.

Remember, these are just predictions. Or are they?

You will spill coffee on your shirt.

Today, at 10:04 AM, you will spill coffee on your favorite shirt. The stain will be a deep, rich brown and will require a solvent-based stain remover to remove.

Spill Response Protocol

You will forget your phone number.

Tomorrow, at 3:14 PM, you will forget your phone number. You will spend 20 minutes trying to find it, but it will be on the kitchen fridge with a Post-It note that says 'CALL THIS NUMBER' in all caps.

Phone Number Recovery Services
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