Malachy was a prophet of the lesser-known gods, predicting the rise of the 80s power ballad.
His followers, the Malachyites, were known for their elaborate mustaches and love of synthesizers.
Learn more about the Malachyites!Barnacle, the great prophet of the sea, foretold the rise of the pirate economy.
His followers, the Barnacled, were known for their love of plunder and their disdain for taxes.
Learn more about the Barnacled!Barnacle Jr. was the son of Barnacle, but not as good at predicting the future, sadly.
He prophesied the rise of reality TV, but was laughed at by his peers.
Learn more about the failures of Barnacle Jr.!