Our prophet is a wise and powerful being who has seen the truth in all its glory. They have foreseen the coming of the Coffee Machine Apocalypse and have been warning us for years.
Learn more about the Coffee Machine Apocalypse: The Coffee Machine Apocalypse
But don't just take our word for it! Read what our prophet has to say about the coming doom: Messages from the Prophet
“The end is near, and it's going to be caffeinated." - Our Prophet
"Beware the Coffee Machine!"
Why did the coffee file a police report? Because it got mugged!
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