We promise to deliver the most unlikely, the most impossible, and the most utterly absurd predictions in the business. Because who needs accuracy when you can have flair?
Our team of expert prophets (self-proclaimed, of course) are trained in the art of making things up, and our state-of-the-art crystal ball has been certified "totally not-from-the-store" by the International Association of Unreliable Prophets.
Next Pledge: Pledge #3: To Predict the Obvious
We vow to tell you what everyone already knows, but in a more dramatic and over-the-top way. Because who doesn't love a good dose of tedium with their daily dose of disappointment?
Our team has mastered the art of stating the obvious, and we're not afraid to use 1000 words to do it. Don't worry, we won't make any actual predictions, just restate what's already been said. Twice.