Declensions of the Ancients

By the power vested in me, I declare the following:

• The price of pizza is too high, but the price of regret is higher.
• Procrastination is the thief of time, but it's also the greatest art.
• Don't worry, be happy, but mostly just be caffeinated.

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• More Proclamations of Doom
• Official Declarations of Utter Madness